Domestic Violence – Nisv.info

United States Attorney General Janet Reno

Preventing Domestic Violence : Clinical Guidelines on Routine Screening

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Produced by The Family Violence Prevention Fund

What is Domestic Violence?
From the Clark County Prosecutor’s Office, Jeffersonville Indiana

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Ending Domestic Violence :

It is important that we discuss domestic violence with our daughters because women need to know there are some men who they date are looking for signs in them that they can be controlled. These men are looking for women that they can easily manipulate and control. These men are looking for women with low self-esteem. They are looking for victims. They are looking Women who double think themselves. Women who are always apologizing. Women who will feel thankful that the man is willing to marry them.
These women have the same or similar characteristics as women who can easily be manipulated into sex trafficking. This is why it is extremely important that you discuss domestic violence with your daughters over and over and over again. So they will not enter marriage blindly. The next segment is a repeat of sex trafficking.

What You Can Do to Help :

Make a Difference in Someone’s Life

A. Financial Support

You must help to empower women. We want you to sit down once a year at your kitchen table and send each of the women’s coalitions in this country one dollar. There are eighty women’s agencies and coalitions, so the cost to you will be $80.00 per year. Your money will allow these organizations to service more women and to begin new programs that will help women to stand up.
Please adopt a local shelter. If you are a large group, form a committee and divide you state into counties. Locate all of the shelters within each county and divide the number of counties into your number, and that is the number of women that will support each shelter. Make a decision about the type of support each group will make.

For example:

Michigan has 60 domestic violence shelters to help women and children. If your group has four hundred members, then sixty-six members of your organization can support one shelter. Their support can take many forms. You can contact the director of the shelter and ask what is needed. The sixty-six members can send a donation, organize a fundraiser, etc. Women have been begging for fifty years, asking the government to help. It is now time for the women of this country to get off of their knees and help one another. Local coalitions are controlled by the money they receive from various governmental agencies. If they do not receive their target budgets, these agencies have to cut back and select what programs they can provide for the community.

Be assured that every dollar you donate to a national coalition or to a local shelter will bring you dividends. When you help a woman in stress, you are also helping her children and the community. A child who is sheltered and protected does not necessarily become a criminal who will rob you when you get old, knock you down in the street and steal your purse, or rape you because he is angry at women. Your money can help children grow up healthy and strong, and more women will have decent husbands available to them. You are helping to provide husbands to women, making a stable community and country. Once a year, sit at your desk and address eighty envelopes and write a $1.00 check to each women’s coalition listed on our website.
Do not laugh at our asking you to send each of the women’s organization one dollar. Do the math. This will help keep America strong. Your money will provide these organizations with much-needed capital to help women and children across this nation. Children need to know that someone cares. Women who are abused or misused are not able to make clear decisions; they need a rest, a break from decision making. These women need to organize their thoughts and think how they can begin again. Consequently, a woman may need to spend more than one month in a shelter. The women of this country earn enough money to help one another. We need to learn how to spend money for ourselves, and supporting a women’s shelter is indeed spending money for ourselves. We are not powerless.

Make a commitment to yourself that no matter what, you will support these organizations year in and year out until the day you die. If we support one another as a group, we are in turn supporting and protecting our daughters, nieces, grandmothers, cousins, and mothers from violence. Your understanding of this process will be deepened when you read Do This In Remembrance of Me. Please see our website.

Emotional Support

If you practice a religion, make a concerted effort to expose your children to ethical
and character-building teachings.
Stop gossiping. Words hurt.
Begin walking and speaking in positive terms. Use active verbs in your conversations.
Avoid negative relationships. We need relationships that add to us, not take away.
When speaking or working with women, demonstrate self-control. Hold your tongue; anyone can be verbally abusive. It takes character and breeding not to offend a receptionist or a waitress just because you are in a position of power.

Social Support

Join our organization and expose yourself to the various seminars and programs we have developed.
Join your local YWCA or send them a $25.00 donation each year. Your activity with this organization will be supporting thousands of young boys and girls in the community.
Do not drink and drive.
If you use illicit drugs, stop and get help.
Do not support others in their illicit behaviors.

Personal Support

Stop smoking; make a concerted effort to control your weight. Set an example for
your children and other women.
Watch what you say to your children and the conversations you have around them.
Teach your children to respect themselves and others.
Make a concerted effort to teach your children not to be verbally abusive to other children at school or at play.
Give your children an established set of values, and continue in this teaching until they leave home.
Tell your sons they must never participate in any activity that demeans women.
They are not to use their strength to force women into exploitative positions.
Explain date rape over and over again to your sons. Tell them that the use of
the date rape drug is considered poisoning and is punishable by years in prison.
Drive your children by a prison and show them the outside. Tell them how men
are imprisoned each year for violent acts against women.
Tell your sons to be selective in the fraternities they choose to join. One night of wild
partying can ruin their lives. Discuss campus violence and drinking. In the book Do This In Remembrance of Me, we discuss children who were murdered after leaving home to attend college. The danger is there for both boys and girls. One thing you must do as a parent is to keep in touch with your child. Be nosy; he or she does not have to know what you are up to, but you need to learn the names of the people your children are meeting on campus. You need to know: who is living in the apartment they selected; where the halfway houses are in the city; what parolees are in the area; and where the sexual offenders are living. You must become active, not reactive. Become active on campus. This can be done discretely, without causing your child embarrassment. Many children think going to college is great, that everyone there is so nice. This is not true. There are sexual predators scouting colleges and universities every day, looking for strays. You must identify your child as a stray by the characteristics she or he shows: shyness, hesitation, not wanting to offend anyone, being obliging all the time, not wanting to say no. As parents, you can reach out to professionals and have someone develop a college course that students can attend that will boost their self-esteem and problem-solving skills. In the book Do This In Remembrance of Me, we discuss the hunting habits of sexual predators.
10. If you are conducting an adulterous relationship, you need to reconsider your behavior. Discovery can have devastating consequences for you and your family.

Practical tips:

Shop in the daytime if unaccompanied and never carry lots of bags into your home
late at night. Predators are always looking for women with children.
Carry a cell phone at all times. Keep a charger in your car.
Make certain that you maintain your car properly. Check your tire, battery, etc. Know where the nearest car repair garage is located. Keep several phone numbers for towing services.
Be observant. Stop driving or walking when you are preoccupied with your thoughts. Look around you. If you leave a mall late at night and your car is in an area that is isolated, go back into the mall and ask for a guard to accompany you to your car.
Snoop, pry, and listen. Notice your neighbors. Watch the times they go to work. Be watchful of the neighbor who does not work.
Do not take the same route home every day. Vary the time you leave for work or return from work. Do not let someone be able to set his or her clock by your behavior.
Never leave a bar or night club with a male you do not know. Do not let his smile fool you. If you are drinking and you leave your drink on the bar to go to the ladies room or to dance, when you return, do not drink it. Do no let anyone hand you a drink. In fact, do not drink when you go out. Save that glass of wine for when you are home relaxing.
Inform all of your friends that you are not comfortable with their bringing people to your home who you do not know. Do not be afraid to speak up for yourself. It is better to hurt their feelings than for your family to grieve your death.
If you meet someone and you believe that you can become romantically interested in him, run a credit check and hire a private detective to check him out. You will be surprised; Romeo may not be the person you believe him to be.
Stop sleeping around. Marriage should be your primary goal, and this goal should not be compromised by your fears that you are growing old and no one will want you.

We shall talk more on the above subjects in the book Do This In Remembrance of Me. You will then see why we offer the above advice. Remember: our primary goal is the prevention of violence against women. We can accomplish this goal if we work together, and begin caring for one another and being thoughtful and respectful of others. And finally, please ask yourself this question daily: “Have I placed myself in a position that can cost me my life, or am I in a situation that presents an opportunity for someone to murder me?” If the answer is yes, then you are to immediately change the situation. Please read the question again; we want you to repeat this question over and over again to yourself until it becomes second nature.
The question is: “Have I placed myself in a position that can cost me my life?” If the answer is yes, then you are to immediately change the situation.
If you use drugs, the answer to this question is yes.
If you are driving late at night, the answer to this question is yes.
If you do not practice safe sex, the answer to this question is yes.
If you are committing adultery, the answer to this question is yes.
If you have invited a male to your home, the answer to this question is yes.
If you have more than one sexual partner, the answer to this question is yes.
If you ask yourself this question and you are in a bar alone, the answer is yes.
If you have become pregnant to trap a man, the answer to this question is yes.
If you have a non-related male babysitting your children, the answer to this question is yes.
If you have let a man who you do not know hand you a drink, the answer to this question is yes.
If you have moved a man you just met into your home with your children, the answer to this question is yes.
If your husband is committing adultery and you are ignoring the situation, the answer to this question is yes.
If you are returning home from a shelter days after your husband pulverized your face, the answer to this question is yes.
If you are having sexual thoughts and are thinking about taking a man home whom you have just met, the answer to this question is yes.

Women must always be alert.

Remember: you must snoop, listen and pry.

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What You Need To Know!

Domestic Violence Article

Understanding Intimate Partner Violence

What The Violence Agains Women Act Means To You :

Domestic Violence Awareness Handbook

Domestic Violence Fiction and Facts :

50 Facts About Domestic Violence :

Domestic Violence Fact Sheets :

Ending Domestic Violence :

What You Can Do to Help :